i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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