if i can run in heels then i can drive
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
