I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i barfeds in our rink
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
