He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need water and some morals
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
