found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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