...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
