well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
