with your own penis?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
