forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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