I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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