So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
