Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
