is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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