I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
