goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Im part way to drunk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
