No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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