I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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