He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
