This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
