i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
