Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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