There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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