I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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