Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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