he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
