My sheets look like a crime scene.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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