Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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