I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
