id be glad to
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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