So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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