i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Boobs are out for the taking
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
