wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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