He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize