Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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