Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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