There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
that's an acceptable place to lick
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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