you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
