you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
