these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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