there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
