No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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