my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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