elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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