he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
