i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
