so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
