pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
