Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
