Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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