sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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